Today saw the 12th birthday of my step-brother, Anthony. It almost made me sad to realise that I was only a year older than him when I was struck down with depression equal to an adults and a future which would be controlled by it. Only now, at 19, am I in control of what is now diagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder and I almost live out my childhood losses in my two step-brothers' eyes. I enjoy their giggles, innocence and silly games knowing that I missed out on a lot of that. I feel privledged to have two such vibrant and mischeivous rascals to call my brothers.
And the giggles were at full speed today as we gorged on pizza, salad, cookie dough and stack loads of ice-cream until we were all nearly sick. We sang Happy Birthday at the top of our voices, popped the balloons which were blow-up for the birthday boy and chased each other around as if we were in a playground. Our laughing gained a few looks from fellow customers who perhaps thought the woman with the pink pout, dip-dye cardigan and smart wide-leg pants had too much sugar that morning. And what if I had? Today, I felt 12 too. And it was great!
The outfit picked for today represents the joy of being mature but young, silly but sensible, child-like but with so much life experience. I adore these La Garconne trousers which would be suitable in any editorial office or University meeting, the Topshop tee could easily slip under Yves Saint Laurent's "Le Smoking" tux for a quirky look and the Converse are commuting essentials which are swapped for killer heels on the corner of 6-8 Old Bond Street. I have a killer flu and this Topshop cable-knit scarf would be a welcome comfort. The Hello Kitty ring? Something I would have picked when I was 12 and something I'd probably still pick now, if truth were known.