I've always been open about having Borderline Personality Disorder but thing the said mental illness has the most silly name. I guess, to anyone uneducated in mental health terminology, BPD sounds similar to schizophrenia but actually it's more about one's reactions, or perceived reactions, to situations and emotions. BPD has a lot to do with insecurity, perceived ideas of rejection, manic highs and crazed lows and issues to do with identity. Although many people will read this text and think they can occur in "perfectly sane" people, BPD sufferers tend to be more on the extreme side to that point that it's dangerous. Wikipedia is actually a brilliant source of information: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder#Associated_features
So, having had about six years of my life controlled by an illness I could never grasp nor understand, I am finally regaining control. Actually, I'd go as far as saying I am in control. I admit, I still show some major signs of a textbook BPD sufferer but before I'd have every kind of behaviour or emotion associated with it. I am in control of it now.
And this weekend proved that. I'd love to write and write about it but I fear if I do then I'll never stop and I want to re-live the entire weekend over in my head for the rest of my life. This weekend was filled with cocktails, shopping, Starbucks and discussions about the small things. Nothing unusual, right? No. But it was the discussions about what I'm doing with my future which got me. The discussions about where I'm going and, more importantly, who with. I've never been happier.
Being like this, normal and calm and content and blissfully happy, is abnormal to me and it almost feels strange but it really is everything I've ever wanted and this weekend just topped it off. Oh my God!
Let's feel pretty and feminine and twirl about in a pretty Roberto Cavalli dress because, well, why not? Slip over a 3.1 Phillip Lim cardigan to keep out the cold (although, thanks to my company this weekend, I've caught a killer cold so I think it would take more than this chiffon beauty to keep the chill away). I've added some Marni flats and a gorgeous green Chloé bag. For your last accessory, slide this fab apple ring on from Dolly Dagger. Top off with a lip-gloss coated smile!
Reflection. by hollieanne
