Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for swollen glands.

The psychical illnesses keep on coming and after a disturbed sleep, I find myself with really swollen glands. I've spent today with a huge migraine that ripped across my eyes and didn't disappear even after strong pills. Tomorrow morning will see me being tested for some kidney problem. When will this end? I feel exhausted!

However, despite feeling like death, I was able to do a wee bit of shopping for art supplies and a perfect piece of fashion beauty that holds more of a sentimental value between MYB and I than you'd think. A girl can always shop, right? In sickness and in health, as they say!

Apparently, according to my sensible BFF, I need to keep my neck warm in times of pain with my glands so I took such joy in going through my two (yes, two!) pashmina drawers and selecting the right one to go with a green and purple combination I'd already pre-planned for the day.

Sunday chic inspires the outfit for today but with an added need to stay warm and well. The striped top and perfect denim skirt are both by Cath Kidston and the flats are by the legend of Louboutin. I've gone for some pretty Rebecca Norman hoops, a Vanessa Bruno bag and a very plain blue scarf. Until tomorrow...


Swollen glands. - by hollieanne on Polyvore.com

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for dressing in black!

I have become obsessed with the Fashion Darling that is a deep shade of black. This may not appear like anything major but I'm a girl who has never worn black apart from the odd cardigan, vest top or pair of tights.

My mother has already encouraged me to wear black but her lovely comments about how it looked so great on me just passed over my head as black looks great on everyone, right? Perhaps this is true and I've seen many a friend or family member wearing the shade a lot to make them look slimmer but I've never quite got it. Where's all the colour that makes you stand out?

As a bird with decent size hips (that, I can reveal, are 5lb lighter this week!) I've always stayed away from black for thinking people only thought I was wearing it to make myself look slimmer and I've always had confidence is my "hour glass with a bit of a tummy" shape. But the past few days have seen me purchasing a perfect black dress and the love of my life- a black leather jacket. Seeing myself in such a colour and adoring the way I look comes as a shock- much like that of a black-only woman loving the way she looked in bright orange.

Is my style growing up from splashes of purple, pink and yellows to a more serious look of sophisticated black shades or am I just embracing something long overdue? I think it's a mix of both things. In these credit crunch times, it's more about investment pieces and sensible tan boots, black leather jackets, patent black clutches and calf skimming black dresses all come into the equation of being long lasting and sensible. I'm wearing chic flats, dying my hair grown up shades of ginger and making use of sensible peach nail shades. Grow up style here I come! Although I do think the odd pink satin Primark hair bow might be creeping in.

The outfit styled for today is grown up but also fun too. The tee was my starting point for the outfit and it's by one of my all time favourite labels- Sonia by Sonia Rykiel. The skirt is tucked into a Topshop skirt and I've thrown a Miu Miu biker jacket over the top which has amazing pleating detail- well worth the £1,000+ price tag! I've added some black tights, Jil Sander biker boots, a gorgeous Chanel necklace and a Betsey Johnson lace detailed bag. Finally, pin hair back into a chic loose ponytail and tie in a red corsage for ultimate glam but gorgeousness!


Wearing black. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for missing blogging.

Hi, Everyone! How are you all? Ah, how I've missed you. I guess I should start with an explanation as to the absence of Dressing For for the past few days. Basically, several family members of mine have been seriously ill and I've had to focus on my family which I'm sure you can all understand. Nothing ever gets in the way of creating a daily entry- personal illness, deadlines, raging tiredness- but this just had to be put to the side for a few days due to such an emergency. I apologise for my absence and thanks to the people who have e-mailed asking if everything is fine. Dressing For resumes as from now!

I'm looking forward to getting back into the regular routine of styling and blogging every day and, despite the fact I've only been away since Thursday, I feel I'm getting withdrawal symptoms.

I have very little to do today apart from see my father (in half an hour- eeek!) and make lots of inspiration diagrams. Today's outfit is bright and pretty and perfect for wearing when working at home and needing a little boost from your outfit. I adore this Juicy Couture sunflower dress and it's defiantly being added to my "When I Am Thin" list. I've gone for browns and bronze to set off the pink with a vintage bag, a wonderful owl ring by modcloth.com and some statement wedges by Burberry Prorsum. Last night I tied three plaits across the front of my forehead like a hairband and secured them with a pretty corsage just like these pink and brown ones. And to make a final, more personal addition, to today's outfit- a Marni bracelet. MYB, darling, M-A-R-N-I, OK? But make mine a necklace. Thanks, Sweetie!


I've missed blogging. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for wishing it was still this morning.

I really wish it was still this morning. This time 12 hours ago saw me relaxed, smiling, being hugged and drinking coffee with the man I love. Nothing beats our lie-ins!

I can hardly stop smiling as to concentrate. I have so many memories of the last few beautiful days (I'm being careful what I reveal!) that my head is spinning. MYB really is wonderful.

I can't even begin to type for fear of causing any discomfort for MYB's two but he cannot do much wrong right now. I heart our pub lunches, giggling, walks in the freezing cold, dinners out, wine drinking and cuddles. Oh my God, I'm SO happy!

I wore something really simple and comfortable today as it was freezing cold but this outfit would have been perfect for a day filled with a lazy morning, pub lunch, goodbye cuddles and a final train journey- if only the sun was shining! I adore this coral skirt and it's a snip at around £11 from Forever21. I've paired the skirt with a grey vest and cardigan and pretty blue flats. Finally, a necklace from Urban outfitters, a ring by Fred Flare and a classic Chanel 2.55. I miss him already...


Holding hands, drinking wine... by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for broken zips in New Look.

My Yummy Mummy took me off shopping today to clear my mind after difficult conversations with my father and feeling anxious about stuff to do with MYB. We had a girly day and I dressed in the perfect comfort combination of a dress, jeans, flats and a big chunky pashmina. We pretty much had the perfect Sunday.

As I'm seeing MYB for our Fake Christmas on Wednesday, I wanted to buy something new to get me in the festive spirit and make MYB gobble me up as soon as he saw me step off the train. I headed to my High Street favourite that is New Look and my eyes were drawn to a strapless number that came in black, red and purple...and they were in the sale! I proceeded to the changing rooms with three shades of wonderful dress and firstly tried the black on. The zip was broken. I sent the slightly silly shop assistant to grab me another but she came back and kindly informed me the zip was broken on all the black dresses. And the purple ones. And the red ones. Hence the sale. When I questioned why there was no "This item is broken blah blah blah" sign, the silly shop girl shrugged and clearly thought I was crazy to want decent customer service.

I have no new dress. Woe.

But I'm sure I'd impress MYB in a simple jeans and t-shirt number like this one for Dressing For. I'm in love with this Marc by Marc Jacobs tee- how pretty is it?! I've also used Marc by Marc Jacobs jeans, pretty peachy pink heels and gold tote. This Chanel bracelet is creeping in to the top of my Xmas list and New Look did get something right with this pretty purple flower ring. Until tomorrow...





Broken zips. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for having zero patience.

OK, MYB, I get that you have to work late sometimes but three nights in a row? No thanks. And it's not just that, it's the way he hardly bothers to tell me he's staying late or even considers how that might make me feel. MYB is a typical metro-sexual bloke but clearly that means he's like 99% of other men and is lacking in the consideration field.

I shouldn't complain, I know, he works really hard and does an amazing job but sometimes I can't help but get really cross when it's hitting 11pm and my boyfriend is still on his way home as I'm about to fall fast asleep. I guess the worst thing is that I've been asking him to do something for a week and he still hasn't bothered. Jesus, nag much?

I went out for dinner tonight and had the first mulled wine of the season- nothing like it! I had dinner and laughed and chatted about silly things like men and relationships and friendships. It was fun. And it involved Dime Bar cheesecake- yum!

But to truly stress having lost my patience with MYB and starting to become quite furious, I've gone all red. Red symbolises my anger but also my passion at knowing that as soon as he calls me sweetheart tonight, I'll fall into his arms and realise I'm actually with the hottest bloke I have ever met. Double yum! I've gone for a double dose of Fendi love with this beautiful red dress and amazingly high heels. Next is the Bottega Veneta quilted clutch which pretty much proves why I love the label so much. Finally, jewellery comes in the form of an amazing cocktail ring, some pretty earrings and a fab Marc by Marc Jacobs bangle.


Cross. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for feeling better than expected.

I was nervous, I admit. When I arrived home and walked in to find my father already there, I found myself having to stay calm and bite my tongue. After a day of mixed emotions I thought that the last person I'd want to see would be my father but I was proved wrong.

I really do think my mum has had a word with my dad about his lack of interest in me and the like. My dad was interested in me tonight! My dad asked me how I was and what I was up to and everything like that! He didn't mention love once and only asked about MYB once rather than the usual six million times. What's happening to the man? He's usually self-obsessed and not interested in me one bit. If my mum really has had a word with him then I'm grateful- she's a star!

Like I mentioned above, today really has been a day of mixed emotions and I feel it'll only end on a low note as MYB are perhaps having a slight argument. He's not answering my calls (although I'm sure he's just busy) and I'm well annoyed at him. I hate this. I wish we could be calm and cuddly all the time.

But I'd wear this outfit to keep my upbeat. How can you not be happy when wearing orange tights?! And how amazing is this dress by Catherine Malandrino. It's crazy but actually really wearable for both day and night. For a day look, I've slipped a polo neck underneath and added flat studded boots but replaced with some patent shoe-boots and left without the bottom layer, this would be fab for a hot date! Finally, a simple teal bow bag to keep in with the colouring of the dress.


It wasn't that bad... by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for preparing to feel sad.

My father lands tomorrow. No, he isn't flying in from some small island near South America but he is coming to visit me and I must say that I've spent all of today worrying. Still shockingly ill, I spent today working on some visual pieces and jotting down an idea for my book but it was all so overshadowed by the thought of how many jelly stings my father will force on me tomorrow.

You've seen Bridget Jones' Diary: The Edge of Reason, right? Bridget Jones et al have a friend, married and smug which is always the case, who just has to sting you. We all have one. The friend who tells you just how many degrees your new boyfriend's assistant has and that his ex-wife was a model for Gucci (zero chance in the case of MYB and I!) or that you're looking well...considering you have put on weight since your last bloke left you. Well, the jellyfish in my life happens to be my father but rather than picking at the small things with me, he throws out one big net and I'm the only one that is caught up in it. I have to listen to him go on for hours about his latest love conquest and how my life will change endlessly once I'm in love myself and that careers and friends appear dismal once faced with love. I always want to bite back and tell him I am in love but actually, my career is equally delightful!

I don't know, my father just drains me and I cannot even cope with the thought. I was hoping to rant to MYB about it all but he's two hours late in calling me and I'm too stubborn to call him. Onwards and upwards, eh?

I'd wear this outfit for a day writing at home. What would start out as feature ideas would end up in lists on how much my father annoys me and then finally a list in ways to keep calm around him tomorrow. OK, so it's freezing outside so perhaps a playsuit isn't the best option but it's fine for spending afternoons with the fire on. Throw this burnt orange cardigan on from Toast for a snuggly feeling and slip on some fringed flats if you must wear something on your feet. And if the mood takes you and you just have to pop out to the Starbucks across the road for a 4 shot mocha, throw your notebooks in this Jil Sander number. Finally, a sweet little elephant necklace from Forever21.



Preparing. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for Diet Coke.

Mid-afternoon on a Monday symbolises Starbucks and some sort of fashion marketing book. Like clockwork, I'll take the bus to town and then pop into Fenwicks for a glossy magazine to occupy me at some point within the following 24 hours. I then skip off to Starbucks, usually chatting to my best friend on the phone as I go, and make my order. I sit down on one of the comfortable sofas, always facing outwards as to people watch, and reading whichever enchanting book I've opted for.

But this week was different. The situation was the same but it didn't taste as sweet. I was probably too ill to attend my lecture tonight, I was emotional and exhausted and I've barely eaten all weekend. Against the advice of MYB, I got ready and went along to my class. But my ritual Starbucks probably proved I was still ill. I sat back and my coffee tasted vile. It wasn't the coffee but the weird illness spawned taste in my mouth and I just couldn't relaxed.

I managed to mumble my way through tonight, breaking off for a chat with MYB. It went fine, nothing spectacular, but I became distressed at my huge lack of energy and severe lack of appetite.

Having returned home tonight I did find my taste buds had arrived back but for only one thing. I'm currently sipping on a glass of Diet Coke and it actually tastes wonderful. Apart from coffee, it's the only thing I've consumed since Friday night and, although not the most nutritious of things, I plan on drinking glasses and glasses until it's time for bed. Clearly a trip to the bathroom is going to be needed but I'm chuffed I can finally taste something other than vomit!

As I'm needed lots of energy today, I've gone for bright colours and have started with this Tory Burch long sleeved yellow cardigan. Underneath I've selected an amazing All Saints t-shirt which is heading right to the top of my Christmas list and I've paired it with some pretty skinny off-white jeans by McQ. Accessories are kept simple with some Gap silver flats and Chanel earrings and silver chain bag. I'm sure this outfit, and the Diet Coke, would keep me energised!


Diet Coke. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for snow.

Oh my word, what happened to the UK today? Whether you were in the Scottish Highlands or "daaaawn soufff", I'm sure you'll have experienced some sort of snow blizzard or at least patches of ice. In my part of the world it was defiantly a day for wrapping up warm and trying not to slip on all the black ice. I'm shocked to say that I didn't slip once. What's happening to me? I'm normally the first on my rather rounded bottom!

Tomorrow is supposed to be worse so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that travel will be OK. MYB appeared the manage yesterday and I'm guessing he was fine today but this weather isn't doing anything for his cold nor mine.

I'm more of a fan of summer fashion, I admit. Winter is fine, I like coats and scarves but I also love my peep toes and thin dresses too much. MYB, I recall, once sent me a photograph of him all wrapped up in his scarf and coat (probably from Zara!) and he looked amazing- the man can pull off the whole ten layers of clothing thing really well. His other half cannot. Perhaps it's something to do with my not size 10 figure and already having extra padding thus feeling even more self conscious in a thick coat? Yes, that's probably it.

Anyway, I couldn't get away with today's outfit but I'm sure someone else jolly well could and here we are. We're fighting against the bitter cold today so I've picked an amazing Graeme Black cashmere coat with a fabulous colour. If the coat wasn't warm enough, underneath is a simple black cashmere vest which is paired with some skinny jeans and boots by Acne. Final touches come in the form of some gloves by Principles, a long Monsoon necklace and this amazing Louboutin flannel tote bag. Stay warm!


Freezing cold! by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for stress.

Why is it that your day off always has to end up being a little bit rubbish? This morning started off fine, I had a decent sleep and went to watch my little brother singing Christmas songs at the local supermarket with his school- it was trés cute! Once I returned home and sat down with a cup of green tea, things went wrong.

Today I had planned to do one thing and one thing only which was to finish an essay. Knowing I had 1,500 words to complete by Thursday, I allocated myself breaks and times in which I could do various things such as e-mail MYB, chat on the phone to my best friend and flick through magazines. Before I got started, I checked my e-mail to find one by someone I rather dislike. She'd e-mailed out of spite. She'd e-mailed to make me sad. Today, rather than working really hard all morning and have the afternoon to do what I pleased, I ended up crying on the phone to MYB and stressing like mad. Why is that woman so obsessed, eh? It wasn't nice.

Still with panic, stress and upset on my mind, I realised I'd done none of my essay and time was ticking away. I had two choices: let Nasty Witch Woman get to me and mess up the essay or think of how proud MYB is going to be of me once I get an A for completing the essay. NWW lost and MYB's proud smile won.

I did the essay and have only just finished. I'm still waiting for an e-mail back from NWW about why she thought it would be fabulous to reveal some rather trivial but upsetting news to me. Never mind, NWW, you'll get over it...

Dressing For is comfort today but also cute. I'm all flowery to keep my mood upbeat and smiley, no matter what NWW tries to throw at me. Sadly, due to all the stress of today, I'm suffering from some horrible stomach cramps so that's why we have a cute little hot water bottle today which is available from DotComGiftShop.com for a tiny £6.95. From Charlotte Russe, we have some simple skinny jeans and Roberto Cavalli provides this pretty oval amethyst necklace. The rest of the outfit is Cath Kidston who, in my eyes, provide everything you need for comfort and style. The plain colour button tank is really cute and can be worn alone if working from home or paired with wide-leg trousers and a pretty shirt for days when you're in the office. I've gone all floral with some pretty plimsolls and a velvet tote to store all your essentials in if you just need to leave the house and get away from it all for a few hours. Finally, pin on this crystal brooch and tie hair back in an effortless bun with this rosy felt hair tie. Stay calm and carry on...


Stress. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for McDonalds.

My lecture this evening was rather dull, a simple reading and then answering questions about said reading. It didn't work for me so I spent the time gossiping with a friend about the male species, doodling flowers and writing love notes to my love.

I left campus feeling slightly deflated and not full of the buzz that I normally have on a Monday evening. Never mind, eh? The chatting and drawing was nice and I did learn something, I guess.

What made me evening was how hungry I was. M&S provided the muesli this morning and I grabbed a Starbucks coffee but, come 8:30pm, I was really hungry. In came the wonder that is McDonalds. Walking through town and trying to contact MYB (I think he was playing Dad Taxi at the time), I heard a rumble from my stomach and opted for the close to hand branch of McDonalds. I opted for a still Fanta, fried and some fab chicken burger with cheese and nachos on. Nice!

So I'm dressing for the guilty pleasure that is a McDonalds on a freezing cold winter night. You need comfort, you need warmth and a little style. But who is really going to see you? You can afford to be a bit slouchy. And why not? Wrap up warm in this beige cardigan from Republic and pashmina from Forever21. I've gone for a simple jeans a t-shirt look with a cute tee which is also a Forever21 number and jeans by True Religion. Finally, for a tiny bit of glamour just in case anyone does see you, slip on some orange Pedro Garcia flats and a classic quilted Chanel bag on your arm. Until tomorrow...



McDonalds. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for the Primark menswear section.

I was dragged out Christmas shopping today and with my sore throat still roaring and bags under my eyes after chatting with MYB into the small hours, it was pretty much the last thing I wanted.

After a wake-up call in the form of soft cheese and bread sticks for breakfast, I blow dried my ginger mop and added a pop of red lipstick on and was finally ready to face the havoc inducing high streets. My mother and I stepped out together for a men-free shopping day (although several yummy creatures caught my eye so it wasn't totally men-free) and indulged in every make-up counter that Boots has to offer. My selections? A wonderful orange lipstick, Marc Jacobs 'Daisy' fragrance and a smokey eye collection for the festive season.

We had fun selecting gifts for my brothers and I managed to pick up a few things for MYB (not from the Primark menswear section if you're reading this MYB, you don't have to worry!). My pleasure came in the surprisingly cool Primark menswear section. My mother was picking out a few bits for her tracksuit bottoms and trainers excuse for a partner and a cardigan caught my eye. I'm a major fan of the boyfriend cardigan and wore one recently when out for dinner with MYB over a smart purple dress, stockings and heels. The latest addition to my expanding cardigan wardrobe is a grey with "neon" pink stripe cardigan from Primark menswear. I opted for the XL size for a baggy and comfortable feel and I'm currently wrapped in it over the top of some pretty pink pajamas. I also came across a rather large tartan scarf that will go fab on jeans and Topshop basic vest days. Who would have guessed, eh?

I'd wear this outfit out for dinner with MYB or perhaps just to the cinema and for a cocktail. I'm a little bit in love with Primark today so both the peep toes and the gorgeous orange dress are from the flea market on the High Street that is Primarni. And we love it! I've used jewellery from Betsey Johnson and an established "it" bag in the form of this Balenciaga teal number. Finally, as I am championing men's clothing, add a Topman teal cardigan and wear with the buttons left open.



Menswear. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for sore throats.

I could feel it coming on last night as I chatted with MYB whilst snuggled up in my bed and knew this morning would only make it worse. Alas, after getting over a cold and several weeks of none stop physical illness, I'm now run down with a dreaded sore throat.

I think having a sore throat is one of the more horrible winter related illness. If you know me, you know I never shut up so losing my voice today has proved a nightmare but still hasn't stopped me chatting (in a painfully high pitched voice) to my best friend on the phone or singing along to Britney Spears.

My bed proved a welcome comforter today but sadly MYB wasn't with me to enjoy gossip magazine reading or hot chocolates. I've slept for a lot of the day although, come 11:30pm, I'm now wide awake and have to be up early for the hell that is Christmas shopping in the morning.

A girl can't let illness get to her too much though, can she? After all, I had a portfolio to put together, blogging to be done, feature ideas to be sent out and a novel to write so I bounced back as much as I could with the added help of some honey and lemon medicine.

Dressing For is all about spending the day at home poorly but still looking chic as you take calls from your editor and plan the latest twist in your future best-seller. I don't have the figure to pull off hareem pants but I wish I did as they always look so comfortable and yet so chic; I've selected these ones in a classic colour from Topshop and paired them with a Bowie tee also from the ultimate high street favourite. Add some gorgeous Lanvin pumps which would look just as good as heels on any dance floor for the Christmas party season and added a scarf by Paul Smith- the chicest way to keep your poorly throat nice and warm this winter for the true English country look. Finally, slip on a few cocktail rings and some studs. And if you must go out? Slip your Strepsils and Filofax in this vintage beauty.



Sore throat. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for being fine.

"I'll be fine, I'll be fine. No, really, I will". I keep telling myself this and it shocks me how much the low mood on today has crept up on me after the joy of yesterday but that's the way it goes, right? Especially when you have BPD.

I'm a creature who is both amused and saddened by the little things. A cupcake at the Hummingbird Bakery, wearing a corsage, seeing MYB stand at the bar and order cocktails for the two of us...bliss! Not having an umbrella when it's raining, getting a question wrong in class, running late for an appointment... floods of tears. I ain't by half one sensitive soul, really.

I guess that's what it is today, isn't it? I just keep welling up with tears over the smallest reasons on earth and am having to tell myself to stay calm and stop being silly. Perhaps it's all just part of being a girl? Or maybe I am just a simple creature.

I could do with the biggest cuddle from MYB though. There's something about that man where, as soon as I'm in his company, I just feel warm and snuggly and safe. He's better that caramel hot chocolate which tends to have the same effect on me.

Dressing For is today about being in between; about needing a little cry and a huge smile. I'd wear this to go for a walk with MYB and then back to his for a few tiny tears, lots of massive cuddles and scribbling down my feature ideas as he did some work. Purple is the main colour of today as it's that in between colour, it can be happy but it can also be sad. We're sort of in the middle today but how could you not be happy with these purple sequin Converse on? I'm actually in love with them. And to me, there's not really much more comfort that pairing some smart wide-leg trousers with a pair of Converse so I've used these ones by Oscar de la Renta. Keep the happiness theme with this super cute Disney tee and, because they always make me smile, wear some pretty Pucci ear muffs. Continuing with the purple theme, I've used a pretty Miu Miu bow scarf and one of my favourite handbags ever- the patent purple Mulberry Bayswater. Stay happy!



I am fine. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for Hollyoaks Later.

I'm in the best mood today. I'm happy, I'm singing, I'm dancing. But can I reveal why? No, not really. In due course, my Dear Readers, in due course...

However, I have to admit that I'm tired today after all the happiness (which I've actually yet to share with anyone. I wish MYB would answer his phone!) so the addition of Hollyoaks Later has to be the icing on the cake. I'm currently giggling as I write but must say that I was suitably shocked at the use of swearing from Josh. He doesn't swear!

I can't wait for the appearance from my current favourite band The Saturdays. Hollyoaks and The Saturdays? My life is too happy (and simple) for words.

Dressing For is happy, happy, happy today! Why not be super colourful? I've used this Tibi bright blue shift dress which is a statement in itself. I've over accessorised with some amazing patent pink peep toes by Alexander McQueen, a fab apple clutch by Temperley London and a pretty Disney castle necklace. Finally, slip on a bright pink cameo ring and sit back and enjoy Hollyoaks Later. What's life without guilty pleasures, eh?


Hollyoaks Later. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for Rachel Stevens.

A discussion about Rachel Stevens came up in Starbucks in Manchester whilst away on a romantic weekend with MYB recently. As I was browsing through his iTunes play lists ("They were before your time Hollie... And them... Yeah, them too") I came across a single track by Ms. Stevens; I then proceeded to giggle that MYB was the only man on earth to appreciate her music. "But you have to admit, it is a bloody good track, Hollie". Perhaps MYB had a point?

The discussion never cropped up in my mind until today when my Internet radio station blasted out Some Girls by Rachel Stevens. I found myself overjoyed at hearing the song I hadn't heard in forever! Last.Fm them proved the source and I found myself listening to tracks such as Sweet Dreams My LA Ex (MYB's favourite!), Negotiate With Love and I Said Never Again.

Not only can the girl prove a hit on Strictly Come Dancing but she can sure by Hell perk up an afternoon of creating mood boards for my portfolio.

Sadly, however, I now have to admit to MYB that he was right. Bugger!

Rachel wore this Hervé Léger to the National Television Awards recently and she looked amazing in it. I've changed it a little from the standard award night clutch and sparkly shoes to a more edgy look. A jacket of sorts is a must with this cold weather so I've selected this leather jacket by Forever21. I've gone purple with accessories in the form of some killer Moda In Pelle shoes and a Valentino patent tote. Finally, add some cocktail rings by Marc by Marc Jacobs and Miss Selfridge respectively. I'd wear this out for dinner with the girls and to jump in a cab to make it back on time for the Strictly Come Dancing final!


Rachel Stevens. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for panic attacks.

When I was little I was trained, by my mother, in how to take care of my father whenever he had a panic attack and I was the only person around. I remember a little sheet that gave details of the symptoms of panic attacks and how to calm a person down. I also remember the huge batch of paper bags in the cupboard which were given to my dad from the pharmacy; they were printed with a green cross and blue text in a typical chemist style.

I've never really suffered from panic attacks- perhaps I had a few in my early teens and maybe a 'light' one once every now and again but it's never something I'd say I "suffered" from or that happened to me frequently. But today, for one of the only times in my life, I had a major panic attack.

The thing that's upset me most about it is that I found myself feeling really embarrassed about it as there was nothing, that I can recall, that brought it on. The location bothers me most about the incident, however. I happened to be right in the middle of Marks and Spencer and, in the middle of shaking and being unable to breath, managed to drop my basket to the sound of a loud clatter. What started off as short breaths and sweating turned into loud crying, intense shaking, chest pains, hyperventilating and lightheadedness. Right in the middle of an immensely busy M&S!

People crowded round me and worried people tried to ask me if I was OK but nothing came out of my mouth. Eventually members of staff made people move on and slowly took me to a back room to calm down. They gave me glass after glass of water and gave me a paper bag to breath into. Well done, M&S- you actually really helped! They were so lovely but I felt so silly and couldn't even look them in the eye. I ended up leaving my basket of wine and dessert as I was too flushed and worked-up. It wasn't good.

Dressing For is all about staying calm today. When I'm feeling ill I always opt for the floaty dress or top and skinny jeans number. There's something about a silky and floaty top that always makes me feel calm and comfortable. I love this over-sized Day Birger Et Mikkelsen shirt dress as it can be slipped on over jeans, like I've done, or worn on its own with some ribbed tights and a belt. I've added some skinny jeans by Cheap Monday and some bangles by French Connection. I've gone for browns and oranges with accessories and started with this Disney Couture pumpkin necklace- so cute! Finally, slip on some super comfortable moccasins available from Fred Flare and take advantage of Dorothy Perkins 20% off day and bag yourself this vintage looking patchwork beauty. Remember, stay calm and carry on...


Panic Attacks. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for being a little low.

I sounded happy in the entry from yesterday, right? Yeah. Chuffed with shopping purchases and looking forward to flashing my new ginger hair to a crowd of philosophy students (although I failed to mention that...). But yes, I was calm and happy and still feeling amazing from the weekend.

But, although I tried to remain upbeat about spending time with my father, something always gets me. My father is quite toxic for me but I always kid myself that he's changed and perhaps he isn't as bad as I make him out to be in my head. Yes, perhaps my father is just an old romantic and not a man who makes a mess and leaves everyone else to pick up the pieces. Maybe he's not as disinterested in me as I thought he was and maybe- just maybe- he does totally understand what I go through with Borderline Personality Disorder.

I need to stop pretending things can be stars and glitter with my father. I don't mind him but I always come away from seeing him feeling so low for no real reason and then the mood carries on into my life for about a week. My father made a few comments that upset me yesterday. But the thing is, he says things so lightly as if they're total fact when, actually, they're the most offensive things you've ever heard.

And so I felt fragile today. My hair looked limp. My outfit wasn't a bad choice but I just wasn't smiley and upbeat and looking like someone very excited about hearing back from any of her selected University choices.

I had a cry to MYB last night. I'm not sure he could understand me as one minute I was crying about deadlines and stress, the next I was going on about having a cold and at some point I cried my eyes out at how rubbish my father makes me feel. After a long day, I'm not sure a 19 year old bird crying "And now my Chanel mascara is aaaaaaaallllllll down my face!" was exactly what he wanted but he did correctly remind me that it's always sensible to take my make-up off before bedtime. Did MYB make me feel better? A little but I'm starting to think that the only way to feel better regarding my father is to slowly distance myself from him until I feel healthy enough to take on his issues and criticisms.

Onwards and upwards, eh? Slip on this outfit and take a cab to your bloke's house for ice-cream, cuddles and a tiny- mascara free- cry on his shoulder. You know it makes sense! The outfit is simple but cosy and the Chloé bag is big enough to pack a pair of pajama bottoms in case you fall asleep on your bloke's sofa and decide to stay the night. This mohair McQ looks so cosy and would be cute paired with Ugg boots on lazy weekend days. But today I've added a pair of KG tan shoe-boots to help you stand tall and walk confidently no matter how teary you feel. Finish with a simple pink beret and pretty Chanel necklace. Now, cry and moan all you like but know you'll be doing it whilst looking amazing!


Feeling low. by hollieanne