Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for being a little low.

I sounded happy in the entry from yesterday, right? Yeah. Chuffed with shopping purchases and looking forward to flashing my new ginger hair to a crowd of philosophy students (although I failed to mention that...). But yes, I was calm and happy and still feeling amazing from the weekend.

But, although I tried to remain upbeat about spending time with my father, something always gets me. My father is quite toxic for me but I always kid myself that he's changed and perhaps he isn't as bad as I make him out to be in my head. Yes, perhaps my father is just an old romantic and not a man who makes a mess and leaves everyone else to pick up the pieces. Maybe he's not as disinterested in me as I thought he was and maybe- just maybe- he does totally understand what I go through with Borderline Personality Disorder.

I need to stop pretending things can be stars and glitter with my father. I don't mind him but I always come away from seeing him feeling so low for no real reason and then the mood carries on into my life for about a week. My father made a few comments that upset me yesterday. But the thing is, he says things so lightly as if they're total fact when, actually, they're the most offensive things you've ever heard.

And so I felt fragile today. My hair looked limp. My outfit wasn't a bad choice but I just wasn't smiley and upbeat and looking like someone very excited about hearing back from any of her selected University choices.

I had a cry to MYB last night. I'm not sure he could understand me as one minute I was crying about deadlines and stress, the next I was going on about having a cold and at some point I cried my eyes out at how rubbish my father makes me feel. After a long day, I'm not sure a 19 year old bird crying "And now my Chanel mascara is aaaaaaaallllllll down my face!" was exactly what he wanted but he did correctly remind me that it's always sensible to take my make-up off before bedtime. Did MYB make me feel better? A little but I'm starting to think that the only way to feel better regarding my father is to slowly distance myself from him until I feel healthy enough to take on his issues and criticisms.

Onwards and upwards, eh? Slip on this outfit and take a cab to your bloke's house for ice-cream, cuddles and a tiny- mascara free- cry on his shoulder. You know it makes sense! The outfit is simple but cosy and the Chloé bag is big enough to pack a pair of pajama bottoms in case you fall asleep on your bloke's sofa and decide to stay the night. This mohair McQ looks so cosy and would be cute paired with Ugg boots on lazy weekend days. But today I've added a pair of KG tan shoe-boots to help you stand tall and walk confidently no matter how teary you feel. Finish with a simple pink beret and pretty Chanel necklace. Now, cry and moan all you like but know you'll be doing it whilst looking amazing!


Feeling low. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for being ill!

Urgh, I am ill. Spent the morning peeing into a cup and being given medication. I am classy, aren't I?

I feel tired and dizzy and like I could throw up every bit of food I've had to eat since the age of three. However, I am a trooper and will be setting my alarm for 6:25am tomorrow to make it to my morning lecture. So, an early night is in need thus a small post.

So, what are the vital things I need when I'm feeling ill? Well, apart from my gorgeous boyfriend to stand around looking gorgeous to distract me, I need pretty night clothing to make me smile. I've selected the most gorgeous Malene Birger negligee which could easily be worn as a day dress, add some Ugg boots for warm tootsies and a Marc by Marc Jacobs hairband because, if you do vomit, you really don't want sick in your hair!


Ill. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for loving the end of the honeymoon period.

When you're in a relationship it can often feel like all your plans and thoughts revolve around your other half. You select times to call one another and everything else is off limits, you make plans for dinner and not even a night out with the girls will make you cancel it and you plan romantic mini breaks months in advance and make all other plans around that.

But am I right in thinking it can often feel too much? Sure, planning stuff with my bloke is great and we do get all loved-up to the point of it being sickly to others but it can sometimes feel odd, especially after being single and independent for a while.

Recently this transcended into a slight distance between my other half and I. Nothing bad, really, just a feeling of needing to make plans/call each other 45 times before we go to sleep/talk for hours. I'm still madly in love but I quite fancy slouching in my Ugg boots and having a really early night.

When you're not in a relationship you dress to attract men, when you're in a relationship you dress to impress him- so what happens when you're really comfortable in a relationship and can slob about in your M&S grey PJs? Who do you dress for then? You, of course!

I discovered that wonderful point once more where I really do just dress for me. I went to the salon today and spent 2 hours having my nails done for no other reason than wanting them done to make me happy. I wore my Ugg boots (in public!) and allowed my bloke to see me in them. I got a stain on my white top and didn't care one bit! I'm finally in that moment of comfortable and sexy and it's all for me!

So, whilst my bloke has flown off on business until tomorrow morning, I'm more than happy spending a night with lots of Ben&Jerry's, Sex And The City: The Movie and a slice of chocolate cheesecake (hips o'clock!). Maybe boring is, well, boring but it's the comfort of the secure relationship mixed with the elation of knowing your appallingly hot boyfriend finds you rather sexy in your hoodie and pajama bottoms (well, maybe cute rather than sexy!).

Today's outfit might be comfortable, it might not be the most fashion forward outfit ever seen and it may well contain two of my guilty fashion loves (Ugg boots and Louis Vuitton bags) but it isn't by half rather cute. The Proenza Schouler long sleeved tee should be a staple in every one's wardrobe (although an M&S version is clearly more affordable), a simple denim mini skirt and waistcoat add an autumn feel and the Fred Flare nerd glasses necklace is pure geek-chic.

He loves me- whatever I wear! by hollieanne