Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for going off to Stoke.

Early post today. The family and I are off to Stoke today. Why? Well, I'm regaining some of my childhood and I'm off to Alton Towers! I'm rather excited. We're staying over in a hotel tonight so we're all refreshed and alive for all the child-like fun we're going to be having tomorrow. I missed out when my family went to DisneyWorld (I had too much work on) so I'm looking forward to this little treat for all five of us.

I think it'll take around three hours in the car- can I manage it? With a twelve year old and an eight year old in the back with me? Fingers crossed! I have my iPod all loaded up and ready to block out the noise of my squabbling brothers.

I'll be blogging tomorrow evening once we're back so I'm sure I'll have a story or two about some super scary ride that made me throw up/cry/lose my favourite bracelet on.

So, with all the travelling, I need a comfortable outfit today. I've gone for a fab pumpkin slouched tee from Topshop, some skinny jeans by Acne and lovely little gladiator sandals by Wet Seal. To add a little glamour, I've gone for some much needed sunglasses by Miu Miu and a large Miu Miu bag to pack all my magazines in. Finally, I've used this stunning Bottega Veneta amber ring. See you tomorrow!



Stoke. by hollieanne featuring Miu Miu shoulder bags

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for finishing her children's tv essay.

1000 words on children? I would rather have poked my eyes out with the heel of a Louboutin but I opted to study children's television as part of my genre assignment within media which was due in today. Children's television appealed to me because of the sociological and political factors surrounding it, as well as the Public Service Broadcasting issues that arise from it and the worrying future of the Hollywood influence. Phew! That was a lot, wasn't it?

I spent several exhausting hours in the library this afternoon adding some final touches but, on later inspection this evening, I've realised I've made two punctuation errors. The journalist making grammar errors? It appears so, my loves. I apologise to you and my lecturer!

Finishing the subject of television genres was a delight, really. It's a topic I'm vastly interested in but I've been feeling a little withdrawn of late so haven't been able to throw my heart into everything as much as I normally do. But I'm back and feeling a lot better than ever! Gone is my depressive episode that has been lingering for the past few weeks and in is the normal Hollie with the added additions of a new brighter shade of auburn hair and a fabulous black leather jacket. Bring on the distinction!

In honour of all things sickly sweet and child like, I've gone all Minnie Mouse on you! The tee is by American label Wet Seal and the skater skirt is by Topshop. For added Disney gorgeousness, I've gone for a ring and a pair of earrings by Disney Couture and a polkadot Cath Kidston bag. Finally, some grey See by Chloé ribbed tights and wonderful red platforms.


Children's TV. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for being fine.

"I'll be fine, I'll be fine. No, really, I will". I keep telling myself this and it shocks me how much the low mood on today has crept up on me after the joy of yesterday but that's the way it goes, right? Especially when you have BPD.

I'm a creature who is both amused and saddened by the little things. A cupcake at the Hummingbird Bakery, wearing a corsage, seeing MYB stand at the bar and order cocktails for the two of us...bliss! Not having an umbrella when it's raining, getting a question wrong in class, running late for an appointment... floods of tears. I ain't by half one sensitive soul, really.

I guess that's what it is today, isn't it? I just keep welling up with tears over the smallest reasons on earth and am having to tell myself to stay calm and stop being silly. Perhaps it's all just part of being a girl? Or maybe I am just a simple creature.

I could do with the biggest cuddle from MYB though. There's something about that man where, as soon as I'm in his company, I just feel warm and snuggly and safe. He's better that caramel hot chocolate which tends to have the same effect on me.

Dressing For is today about being in between; about needing a little cry and a huge smile. I'd wear this to go for a walk with MYB and then back to his for a few tiny tears, lots of massive cuddles and scribbling down my feature ideas as he did some work. Purple is the main colour of today as it's that in between colour, it can be happy but it can also be sad. We're sort of in the middle today but how could you not be happy with these purple sequin Converse on? I'm actually in love with them. And to me, there's not really much more comfort that pairing some smart wide-leg trousers with a pair of Converse so I've used these ones by Oscar de la Renta. Keep the happiness theme with this super cute Disney tee and, because they always make me smile, wear some pretty Pucci ear muffs. Continuing with the purple theme, I've used a pretty Miu Miu bow scarf and one of my favourite handbags ever- the patent purple Mulberry Bayswater. Stay happy!



I am fine. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for Hollyoaks Later.

I'm in the best mood today. I'm happy, I'm singing, I'm dancing. But can I reveal why? No, not really. In due course, my Dear Readers, in due course...

However, I have to admit that I'm tired today after all the happiness (which I've actually yet to share with anyone. I wish MYB would answer his phone!) so the addition of Hollyoaks Later has to be the icing on the cake. I'm currently giggling as I write but must say that I was suitably shocked at the use of swearing from Josh. He doesn't swear!

I can't wait for the appearance from my current favourite band The Saturdays. Hollyoaks and The Saturdays? My life is too happy (and simple) for words.

Dressing For is happy, happy, happy today! Why not be super colourful? I've used this Tibi bright blue shift dress which is a statement in itself. I've over accessorised with some amazing patent pink peep toes by Alexander McQueen, a fab apple clutch by Temperley London and a pretty Disney castle necklace. Finally, slip on a bright pink cameo ring and sit back and enjoy Hollyoaks Later. What's life without guilty pleasures, eh?


Hollyoaks Later. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for panic attacks.

When I was little I was trained, by my mother, in how to take care of my father whenever he had a panic attack and I was the only person around. I remember a little sheet that gave details of the symptoms of panic attacks and how to calm a person down. I also remember the huge batch of paper bags in the cupboard which were given to my dad from the pharmacy; they were printed with a green cross and blue text in a typical chemist style.

I've never really suffered from panic attacks- perhaps I had a few in my early teens and maybe a 'light' one once every now and again but it's never something I'd say I "suffered" from or that happened to me frequently. But today, for one of the only times in my life, I had a major panic attack.

The thing that's upset me most about it is that I found myself feeling really embarrassed about it as there was nothing, that I can recall, that brought it on. The location bothers me most about the incident, however. I happened to be right in the middle of Marks and Spencer and, in the middle of shaking and being unable to breath, managed to drop my basket to the sound of a loud clatter. What started off as short breaths and sweating turned into loud crying, intense shaking, chest pains, hyperventilating and lightheadedness. Right in the middle of an immensely busy M&S!

People crowded round me and worried people tried to ask me if I was OK but nothing came out of my mouth. Eventually members of staff made people move on and slowly took me to a back room to calm down. They gave me glass after glass of water and gave me a paper bag to breath into. Well done, M&S- you actually really helped! They were so lovely but I felt so silly and couldn't even look them in the eye. I ended up leaving my basket of wine and dessert as I was too flushed and worked-up. It wasn't good.

Dressing For is all about staying calm today. When I'm feeling ill I always opt for the floaty dress or top and skinny jeans number. There's something about a silky and floaty top that always makes me feel calm and comfortable. I love this over-sized Day Birger Et Mikkelsen shirt dress as it can be slipped on over jeans, like I've done, or worn on its own with some ribbed tights and a belt. I've added some skinny jeans by Cheap Monday and some bangles by French Connection. I've gone for browns and oranges with accessories and started with this Disney Couture pumpkin necklace- so cute! Finally, slip on some super comfortable moccasins available from Fred Flare and take advantage of Dorothy Perkins 20% off day and bag yourself this vintage looking patchwork beauty. Remember, stay calm and carry on...


Panic Attacks. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for being proud of her best friend.

My best friend is fabulous! I know everyone is bound to say that about their best boy or girl but my cute little button of a best mate deserves all the XBox games, takeaway pizzas and snuggles in the world!

My Weepsie never fails to surprise me- from waking me up on a morning with phone calls to tell me I smell, to serenading me with made up songs and writing me stories about snails named George. If you're ever in need of a creative and rather gorgeous Essex boy, give him a call!

I honest would be lost without him. Most friends are lucky if they speak once a week but Paul and I are never off the phone to one another and tend to speak about five times a day. My boyfriend doesn't mind one bit and has often been around when Paul and I have been having a good old gossip about birds and er...seals.

So, how chuffed was I today to be told that my darling one-time boyfriend of two and a half years had won an award? Hurrah! My best friend, the shy and timid bloke with a love for dumplings and darts, was tonight awarded the "Best Fielder" prize within his local cricket team at a fancy do. Well, Mr. Weepsie, I love you! I can't wait to see him soon and smother his face with loads of kisses. I am proud!

Dressing For is today for having fun and spinning round in circles with your best one. Sure, it's a little silly and out there but it's perfect for a tea party on the living room carpet for 2. We'd make sure we had dumplings at ours. I adore this t-shirt, I'm not sure where it's from to be honest but it is well cute! Slip on a La Garçonne twirly skirt, some Minnie Mouse ears (why not?!) and a graphic bangle. If you have to be sensible, I'd suggest removing the Disney ears and slipping on some Jimmy Choo flats and a Chloé bag.

PS/ Have just rocketed into the "best girlfriend in the world" league. Get in!!!


Cricket. by hollieanne