Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for having a morning panic attack.

It's been a really stressful week, most notably issues with my father, so it didn't surprise me when I found myself unable to breath and going bright red. Welcome to panic attack land!

I'd been wound up all morning over issues to do with my father: I was wondering what was so wrong with me that he let me down all the time, wondering if my sister knew some secret I didn't, wondering if he preferred spending time with his girlfriend than with me. As I got off the bus and began to take the rather long walk to campus, I found myself welling up with tears for no reason. The tears kept on coming- silent and slow- until I was down a side road and having a full blown panic attack before 9am. My heart was racing, I was sweating, my muscles were tense, I was gagging because I couldn't breath...you name it.

When I get like that, the last thing I want to do is sit in a lecture and worry it's going to happen again. I always want to be curled up like a tiny baby guinea pig after I've suffered a panic attack. The need to want to be in a tight little ball after such a claustraphobic incident always strikes me as a little amusing but it feels safe and nice and comforting and I don't mind that one bit.

Returning home, I made a cup of herbal tea and watched BBC News for hours, taking little moments out to read a few pages of a book or the latest issue of Cosmopolitan. The highlight of my day was baking, however. I doubt I'm going to be around for Mothering Sunday this weekend so I baked my mum a fabulous buttercream and jam cake from scratch with little red frosted hearts hand crafted on. It made me smile.

But, as I was mixing up all my sweet treats, I began to think about how certain clothes can sometimes help calm a panic attack and certain items can really restrict you. I was wearing my staples of a fitted black cami, smart dark jeans and a trench today with a vintage scarf tied in a big bow around my neck. Clearly, the scarf was no good when my throat became tighter and my trench felt all too tight when I just needed some air rushing through me. The outfit today is plain but stylish and the main focus is clearly this beautiful Philosophy Di Alberta Ferretti cotton jacket. With the jacket, I've added a comfort of some simple cut jeans and wonderful Marc by Marc Jacobs mouse flats which are not only comfortable but cannot help to keep one smiling. I've gone for a simple but roomy Longchamp bag and then some sweet little earrings from Topshop. Finally, to add a little extra sparkle to the outfit, I've used a Lady Luck Rules OK apple brooch.



Morning panic attacks. - by hollieanne on Polyvore.com

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for shopping for MYB!

This week is leading up to a very exciting end as, on Sunday, it'll be the birthday of the most delightful man I know! MYB will be opening cards and presents and suddenly feeling much closer to 40 come Sunday ;-)

As I'm not spending the weekend with MYB, I've been super organised as regards his gifts. I bought his card last weekend and I went on a lovely shopping spree this afternoon to buy pretty little gifts for him. I adore shopping for other people but shopping for MYB is something else; he has such incredible taste in everything (apart from music!) that I find myself feeling wonderful as I marvel over the geekiest and most gorgeous sections of department stores.

Clearly I cannot reveal what I ended up buying but I know, come Sunday, he'll adore them and perhaps feel that little more inclined to marry me!

I've style the outfit for comfort today. Lectures, writing, dealing with PR invites and shopping has taken it out of me today and I'm headed for an early night! I love denim dresses but this one here, by 3.1 Phillip Lim, is so simple yet so right. I've gone for red accessories with some Marc by Marc Jacobs mouse shoes, a See by Chloé bag (number 1 on my lust-list right now!) and jewellery from Lady Luck Rules OK! Finally, a pretty blue beret from Forever21.



Birthday gifts for MYB - by hollieanne on Polyvore.com

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for the farm at the bottom of her father's garden.

I met my father's latest girlfriend today and saw his new flat for the first time. My dad has a habit of swaying from one woman to the next so planning an outfit to impress her is long gone. It's a Sunday so I stole my mother's grey dip-dye leopard print cardigan, my favourite green skirt and grey leopard print shoes. And a slick of pink lipstick which makes my father realise I'm a real live grown-up now!

Hmm, so this girlfriend is blonde. His previous lot, minus one, have been dark ladies but I'm guessing he got bored. My opinion of the lady we'll call K has been odd. My father first told me about her and explained how she's had a very, very, very bad time over the past few years. Blackmail to make me like her after I bonded so well with the last girlfriend? Probably.

In the end, K was OK. Nothing to write home about. But what was to write home about was my father's new flat! Wow, wow and wow again! Not only is it super chic, super slick and super modern but it has the most amazing countryside views and a farm for a garden. Yup, my father who works in a call centre now has a farm for a garden. I spoke to the 3 ducks, made noises at the horses, laughed at the hens and gave the goat an evil stare. I'm impressed, Dad!

So today's look is all about looking chic in the mud. OK, so this Stephen Jones beret is nearly £200 but it's gorgeous! Add a cute tea dress by Goddiva, a Lady Luck Rules OK brooch and the compulsory Cath Kidston wellies are you're sorted. All that's missing is a bit of hay at the end of your lippie coated pout.