Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for seeing the crisis team.

This entry is a little different tonight. I've never kept quiet about suffering Borderline Personality Disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder) as I believe it's an illness long overlooked and defiantly misunderstood. Currently there are changes being made as to gain a name alteration for the disorder as it currently suggests something along the lines of schizophrenia when in fact it's more of an emotional condition similar to that of bi-polar disorder.

I've been struggling for about a week after not seeing my doctor for around four weeks due to holidays and the like. Late last night I ended up finding myself well and truly embraced in an "episode" which threatened to harm, not only my precious relationship with MYB but indeed my entire self.

I'm therefore taking positive steps this evening and have contacted my local NHS authority. I've been up to a local hospital for a quick assessment and am currently waiting for a hospital car to pick me up and take me to a mental health ward in the North East. It's not as bad as it sounds, my episode is well and truly over, but I do need checking out and just a little chat to help me understand my current feelings.

I'm doing it because I want to make positive steps to guarantee a secure future for MYB and I. I'd like to state that if MYB, and especially any of the participating people within his life, is/are reading this then I'd like to point out my severe apologies for any degree of disruption, upset or confusion. I'd like to personally and publicly thank MYB for his support with the past 24 hours and indeed that for the past two and a quarter year. I am deeply lucky to have people around me willing to understand and willing to learn. I hope one day that BPD won't be seen as such a thing as to fear as "emotional instability" doesn't mean lives are constantly disrupted. I live a perfectly normal and blissfully happy life which, like depression and many other illnesses, needs a little chat with a doctor every now and again.

Therefore, rather than leaving you with an outfit today I'm leaving you with a photograph of me: I'm a successful, happy and intelligent girl who you'd see every day walking down the street. But I have a condition. The latter does not define me.

PS/ It's the lighting that is odd and not my eyebrows- they are perfectly neat.
PPS/ The scarf, vest and cardigan are all Primark, the headphones are HMV (avec Jessica Simpson blasting from them) and the soft Russian doll was a gift from MYB for Christmas.

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for Teen Vogue and Cosmogirl.

I went into Smiths this afternoon to buy NYLON (although, after the Peaches Geldof column disaster, I don't know why) but found the new delivery wasn't in yet. However, amongst the choices of either Plastique or Another Magazines, I saw two titles that I'd grown up adoring but hadn't bought in ages.

I didn't dare open the front covers of the two magazines as to savor every moment for tomorrow once I'm cuddled up in Starbucks with a skinny toffee nut coffee. I spent £4.95 on Cosmogirl and Teen Vogue because, sometimes, it's nice to have a super simple read in your hand.

I haven't picked up either magazines in ages so I cannot wait to flick through the pages once more. After a rather long, tiring and- frankly- a bit rubbish day, I'll wake with a geeky excitement as to devour every word of my magazines tomorrow.

Dressing For is today about being a sensible grown-up but with that little bit of girly teen added on secretly. This outfit would be worn to dinner with MYB and his mates or out for cocktails with my girls. I love this Bill Blass flamenco backless blouse- appallingly sexy but still subtle. Team with some 7 for All Mankind jeans and a simple but effective Mulberry clutch. Next, slip this gorgeous Yves Saint Laurent cocktail ring on for ultimate sophisticated yet girly effect. And now, here comes the inner teen within you, have several spritzes of this Hilary Duff fragrance and slip on your Jessica Simpson shoes. Finally, add some sort of fizzy, pink and sparkly drink!


Cosmogirl/Teen Vogue. by hollieanne

Hollie-Anne Brooks dresses for The Hills.

I finally purchased the "reality" series The Hills on DVD today. After months of giggling over T4 showings of Lauren et al, I handed over the Zavvi shop assistant a total of £18 so I can spend my Sunday evenings watching the semi-trashy show over and over again.

Last month my boyfriend and I sat down to watch an episode. A lazy Saturday morning at his place with tea and pastries became a vital moment in my boyfriend's life, seemingly. As a fan of Living Lohan and Newlyweds, I was surprised he hadn't involved himself in the love lives of Heidi and Spencer. Watching it together, both of us total media geeks, we analysed the show and came out with the following conversation:

Boyfriend: "Hollie, this is utter shit!"
Me: "Yeah, but it's sooooo good!"

You have to love it, right?

Dressing For is today inspired by "complicated" love lives, the younger days of working at Teen Vogue and the major need for a Chanel bag!

Simple Charlotte Russe shorts, a Topshop Marc Bolan tee and a Warehouse cardigan focus on the staple "LA Girl About Town" look. But what makes it is the accessories. Chanel large quilted shopper? Check! Chanel-esque quilted ballet flats available from Net-A-Porter? Check! Huge sunglasses? Yup! And a colourful Topshop bracelet? You know it! So, stick your "cell phone" to your ear and pretend you're chatting to Teen Vogue's West Coast Editor- true The Hills style!

LA style. by hollieanne